The beginning is important because you only have a limited amount of time to grab the attention of the readers. Sometimes I have a problem knowing the right place to start a story. So I’ve learned that for me, its best not to worry about it and go back and cut and change the beginning later. I’ve been tweaking the beginning of my current novel the last few days.
This is what I started with: “Detective Cade Jennings pulled up in front of the small track house. It appeared to have a fairly new face lift compared to the other homes on the street. This one was a goldenrod in color with a stone trim on the garage and around the entrance way. Two flower beds flanked the front door, both contained rose bushes with buds hinting of reds and pinks, marigolds and blue pansies filled the rest of the space. Getting out of the car he could smell the fresh mown grass, evidenced by the clippings that littered the sidewalk that led to the house. Typical suburbia, Cade thought. All that’s missing is the white picket fence.”
I changed it to: “She lay at his feet like a used tissue, crumpled and tossed aside. He could tell in life she had been beautiful. In death – she was just a body lying face down in a pool of her own blood. Nothing pretty. Nothing glamorous. Such a waste, Detective Cade Jennings thought. She can’t be more than twenty-five.”
I’m sure you can see the difference. Be mericiless and slash your beginning to grab that reader.
The second beginning captures my interest. Is the girl found inside the house described in the first beginning?
It took a bit until I got to the girl in the first version. I started that way just because I wasn’t sure where I wanted to start the story. The first one was too slow and didn’t get anyone’s attention. That was why I liked the second version also. I’m glad that it caught your attention.
Thanks for the feedback. oh, and yes she was found inside the house in the first description.